four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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