Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My ATM looks so different sober.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
