Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you would pick up someone in the library
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
