found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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