I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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