I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
