This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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