My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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