so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize