At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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