she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize