Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize