your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
