dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
