I wannas sexs uuuuu
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
