i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
