...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Randomize
