Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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