Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
