sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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