i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Randomize
