You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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