I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
