dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
