ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
