Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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