I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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