Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
The air taste purple.
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