if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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