is your mom at the bar?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
