Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
