So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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