dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
