That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
