You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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