Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
