i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize