I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize