I look better un-naked...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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