3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
