Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
