My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just invented taco cereal.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
