We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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