am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
