White coat. Heels.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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