I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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