his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
