Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize