so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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