i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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