I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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