Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
