Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
