So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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