I'm so fucking centered right now
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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