I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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