i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
