How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
