Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My vagina is officially offended.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
