no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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